Finding time or finding yourself? 

Writing has become somewhat therapeutic in my life, who would of thought huh?!

The question I’ve been asked on occasion is, I’ve always wanted to write but I don’t know where and when I would start.

There’s not going to be the right time. Timing sometimes isn’t everything.

If I had waited for the ‘right’ time or the ‘perfect’ time to begin, then I still would never of put pen to paper (or finger to iPhone, as everything I write is in my notes app on my iPhone)

Writing for me requires inspiration, wether it’s an idea, concept or clarity (from my overthinking mind at times) and I also need to feel compelled to write rather than for the sake of it. In other words, my words need some meaning behind them for me to be in this wholeheartedly. (Hence why you haven’t heard from me for a couple of weeks, as work has been time consuming, I’ve moved house, I’ve been battling some sickness in between & trying to complete a 4 week challenge at Barre but fell victim to death by pizza somewhere in between)

Which brings me back to the matter of time.

What I’ve realized in life, is sometimes you have to wait for the right time and other times you have to go out and make it happen.

There’s been times I’ve deemed unfair, as life has thrown me lemons or challenged me beyond recognition. There’s been times of great accomplishments with victory dancing, happiness and an overwhelming sense of gratitude (or never ending celebratory drinks with excessive hangovers)

I suppose what I’m trying to spit ball here, is that you have to roll with the punches and go out and make sh*t happen, if your dreams are bigger than your current reality.

I was on tinder yesterday chatting up a storm to a couple of new victims (whoa, hold up you know I’m a ghoster from way back and I’ll probably delete the app again next week as I’m ‘over pen pals’ but I have a feeling this time may be different…)

So called converser has corporate job, travels often, indulges me in encouraging my warped sense of humor and we are planning a soirée soon enough over a casual meal and a roll of the dice in conversation. Now before ones plans come to fruition, there of course comes the exchange of the prerequisites: current job, location of dwelling, interests, the odd cheesy pick up line and depending on ones communication preferences, a sh*t tonne of emojis.

There’s been a few standouts since I’ve been dating sydney men, they are so sure of themselves (or faking it well) and they also has been encouraging me beyond reason (for strangers) on my current aspirations and goals.

Isn’t it funny, how we need gratification from a stranger sometimes to confirm the path we may choose in life or the detour we are destined to take, could in fact be the right one?

Anyway, so called converser referred to me as a ‘nomad’ and a ‘lady with class’ in the same sentence.

I like the sound of that.

So if I’ve learnt anything about time here, is that you can choose how you spend your time. Wether you choose to spend it daydreaming on the ‘should of, would of, could of’ or going out and making something of it with your everyday hustle or spend it swiping right on tinder because you know, life’s about endless choices right?

Currently my time includes an almond milk latte outside overlooking Norton St, in my new neighborhood about to embark on finding a new book at the local (and supercool bookstore I might add) to help me take some further action.

Because what better way than spending an afternoon indulging in yourself, where time doesn’t exist and you may be currently in amongst the chase (life or love. TBC…)

K X 

*Page excerpt pictured above by Zoe Foster-Blake ~ Book “Textbook Romance”. 

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