Armed with a backpack and a bucket list. 

Picture this. I’m sitting with you, having a conversation and between the two of us we’re discussing each other’s personal traits. Both you and I know each other relatively well, we can share key attributes, highlight strengths, maybe even share the occasional opportunity on each other or an area of growth.

As I’m sharing my insights with you – on you, (stay with me on this), I highlight a key attribute of yours, that you’re well aware of. We both nod in sync, as we agree and then I throw you a curveball.

Hang on, now you might be thinking what kind of curveball? A compliment that stops you in your tracks and leaves you speechless? A dig at your own personal traits, thoughtless on my part as it just slipped out? Or an observation that I’ve made, that you have never really thought of yourself?

What if I told you that person was me and the curveball was an observation that was made (to me, on me) and it stopped me in my tracks and it’s been tattooed in my brain ever since. The curveball was the later – one I’d never really thought of myself.

These moments are precious as they don’t come along as often. The moments that make you think more deeply, ask more questions and get curious on the what, why, how, if and when?

I’m an avid planner, I love organization, I overthink (a lot), I love trying to predict my future, write endless to do lists, set goals & rewrite them constantly, have a function-able diary (Diary link here = life changing) and I also like to write with a particular pen (erasable and you can only buy them in one shop in Sydney).

You could say I’m pedantic, a little obsessive (only with some things), or a touch crazy.

This kid just likes some structure in life.

On the flip side, I hate plans and deadlines. I may of said above I like to plan but if someone tried to plan my life/agenda I would rebel… every important deadline I’ve had, I normally procrastinate on and then cram at the end. Every one of my friends will tell you I’m always late. I’m late to birthdays, family dinners, or just life in general. I love going with the flow and if you’ve invited me to family dinner, I’ll probably still be at your house two days later.

I plan for life but my life has no plan. (Just a tad contradictory huh)

I’ve heavily relied on my career to shape my end goal. That North Star you work your way towards. Not just today, last year or even 5 years ago. I finally had an epiphany that even though I’ve been planning and taking steps forward, it’s always been towards short term goals, bite sized chunks of life but if you asked me where I see myself in 5 years, 2 years or even 12 months from now, my answer would be wishy washy.

How can one be such an avid planner in life but with no clear end goal? I want to blame the fact that I’m GEN Y and we wait for life to unfold at our feet, but honestly I think it’s just me. (I’m still holding onto the fact that I fit into the GEN Y category, yah to me!)

All of this has me thinking about goals. Sure, I talk about dreams, aspirations and working towards your end hustle but what am I solidly working towards as my end goal momentarily….nothing. Life?

The last post I committed on hustling towards, was my body goals (here) and if I’m brutally honest with myself (oh and all of you) I didn’t obsessively track it and then I was on to the next thing. (It’s the rebellious side of me, but I haven’t sat at home for weeks either with burgers and fries. All will be revealed when I plaster holiday pics on my IG)

I’m going back to my end hustle, or just the hustle in general and getting really clear currently on what it is exactly that I want, or what am I searching for?

I’ve equipped myself with a bucket list journal, that I don’t plan to open until 2 weeks from tomorrow when I’m high in the sky, flying to the other side of the world. What better way to get clear on life in general, armed with a journal, pen (definitely erasable), no sense of time and with a view of the Caribbean ocean.

I’m not allowing my path to predict my future, I plan on writing my own. 

K X 

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